Reflecting on Rachelle.

Let's just start by saying, there's no way that this is going to be eloquent.  I've had so many thoughts and emotions since Friday night that I am truly emotionally exhausted.  From outright denial and disbelief to a peaceful calm to devastating sorrow, I've felt it all.  All in the midst of having no friends locally (at least during the weekend) who knew this wonderful woman.  It has been interesting to say the least.

My first thoughts go to who Rachelle was and is to me.  She is fiercely loyal, generous, compassionate, genuine and downright amazing.  She is perhaps one of the few women in my life who can listen to me vent and make me feel heard and understood while simultaneously helping me to see humor and joy in the midst of whatever problem I think there is.  I only hope she knew just how much her friendship meant to me.  I hope that I was able to affirm her and love her and be Jesus to her just as much as she did all those things for me.

I also think back to when I saw her early July.  It was after summer con but before Honduras.  I am so incredibly thankful to hear how summer con and prayer seminar blessed her despite an incredibly difficult year.  Though she may not see herself as a hopeful person, I have never known such a courageous and persevering woman as Rachelle despite the shit in her life (she would approve of my word choice).

So in the memory of her character and her testimony, I realize how important and how much I really do want people to know Jesus, because honestly, you really never know.  There is a renewed sense of urgency.  That everyday we live really is quite a gift and a blessing.  So you can bet that I will be bold for Jesus in your memory, Rachelle.  Thank the Lord that people had the boldness to pray for you and to pursue you.  Thank God that there were people in your life to bring the Kingdom of God near to you.  I can only hope that I can continue to bring the Kingdom of God to others.  That's the least I can do in memory of you.

You are my beloved friend.  Your friendship is truly irreplaceable.  I love you so much, Rachelle. I will never forget you. I hope Jesus will throw you the most amazing 21st birthday party.  If anyone deserves to be in heaven and experience the tangible presence and love of God, it's you.  There were things I wanted to tell you after Honduras, but I won't get a chance to do that.  But maybe it's okay because I can already hear your silly and snide remarks to the details of my life.  God, I love you woman.  Party hard.  And I'm sure you're saving up all your strength for a frontal hug of epic proportions.  The thought makes me shutter a bit.