Realizations

As I was talking to a friend today, I realized that I'm actually not very happy about this transition. Not at all. I'm constantly fighting the temptation to just stop caring. Thinking about CTI is exhausting. Conversations about race and ethnicity are exhausting. Being a good big sister/cousin is exhausting. AND I drank coffee this morning. Why is it that seeking the kingdom and pursuing good things is so exhausting? I'm tired, Jesus. I'm tired of trying to stay positive through transition, cause honestly, it really sucks. I love my family, I really do. My parents have been so incredibly supportive--I've never felt more supported in my life, actually. I'm just...very reluctantly going into this transition.

I know you're good Jesus. Help me to actually believe it.