A post college reflection

After taking long breaks from my blog world, it's always awkward to jump back on the horse.  Post college life has been an interesting new experience.  I realize that much of my previous blogs have been of expressing frustration with the uncertainty of direction and whatnot.  A lot of the time that I have not blogged was spent with the same frustrations.  Why blog when I would sound like a broken record? Nobody needs to hear that nor do I want to continue to vent the same frustrations.  But, thanks be to God, life has taken a surprising and sweet turn.  No, my life is not drastically different and somehow magically wonderful & exciting, it's just...evolving.  I would daresay that I have begun to have hope and expectation for good things to come post college.

I'm coming up on a year of living at home.  This time last year I was in Guatemala, so technically I've been living at home since September.  The year has been full of new things.  I started working with babies in September.  I joined a small group at my parent's predominantly white suburban mega church.  I committed to things and dove head first.  I knew that I didn't want to waste time floundering about.  I settled into a pretty and stable routine fairly quickly.

Recap: Living at home in affluent suburbia, check. Going to a church with wonderful teaching in suburbia, check. Working with kids for Pixar, check.

Wait, what? How does this at all reflect what God has convicted me of in college you might ask? I asked those same questions.

This year of turning a new leaf didn't intentionally come with an attitude of "I want to get away from social justice & loving the poor." I knew I was going to be living at home, and it felt hypocritical of me to go to a church that loves and serves a low income neighborhood if I go home on Sunday to my home in very affluent suburbia.  As the year went on, I became more and more discontent with how my lifestyle did not at all reflect the values that God has placed in my heart.

How amazing that something as "simple" as changing church communities can make a world of difference.  To go to a church that values caring for the community around them and has a value for social justice & racial reconciliation is such a breath of fresh air.

How amazing that there can be so much peace in the decision to pursue something that terrifies me.  The decision to invest more of my life in the kingdom and in taking a more active role in seeing Jesus transform lives has been grown and fostered out of the longing and confusion of this year that I have spent at home.  I can with some degree of certainty know that my decisions are made not out of what Intervarsity students "should" do after college.  I have wrestled with Jesus.  I've tried to make things work.  The result so far is that I know there are some things that I need to pursue in life. God has made me with very specific gifts and passions. I need to live in a community of people who love God and want to love and serve the poor. I need to be in a community where racial reconciliation is valued.  I want to be a part of helping others to pursue healing their ethnic identity in some degree. I want to see the Kingdom of God come near to people.

I know that there is still so much to be learned, so much life to live, decisions to make.  Plans can change or be altered between now and the next time I blog (who knows when that will be).  But those things are sure. Who knows what Jesus has in store for me?  I will wait in hope and expectation to see the ways that God unfolds the plans he has for my life.

So, if this is what life could be like post college, I don't think I mind it so much.  I think I'm finally ready to lean into it and be excited for the new things in life.  PTL, it's about time.